Hello, yeah...

... it's been a while.

Happy Saturday!

I am living a miserable existence here at work. I haven't showered; I am on very little sleep; and I am slightly dehydrated. See what happens when I am allowed to play outside? Ugh. I should know better by now, right?

What are the odds of me repeating this process tonight? I scare myself sometimes.

One good thing: no work tomorrow. My third Sunday off since the changing of the schedule. I love, love, love having Sundays off. The craptacular aspect of this Sunday is that the man is working a night shift. He works 'em all weekend (the real reason behind last night's letting down of the hair). I won't get to properly greet him until Monday night after I finish my shift.

I keep wondering if he's tired of me yet. (We all get tired. I'll be honest and tell you that I hope I get tired first.)

Man, I'm fucked up. I am so worried about losing things(people) I love. I panic, over-analyze, dwell, creat scenarios in my own warped mind. I am suspicious and too observant for my own good. There's just no way he won't want to kill me at some point. Poor dude. He has no idea what he's into right now. He didn't know that I am crazy, deranged ... OK. He does know. But why he'd want to involve himself with me is beyond my comprehension. And I mean that. I'm damaged. Perhaps he wants to fix me.

I must write obituaries now. How's that for making a living?