Also

Did you know that also is one of my favorite words to use? I love it. Much better than and.

Guess what. Go 'head. I'll wait ... OK, I can't wait. Impatience is my middle middle name. After my real middle name. Which, I'm sure, someone knows because, you know, they know all my shit. ANYWAY (There is no 's' at the end of this word. Please make a mental note.) The news: I have a new baby. He's six weeks old and blue/grey and a total monster. He eats my face, loves to get into brawls with my slippers, stays awake all night long. Ugh. If dogs are this difficult, imagine how much fun a newborn will be! Joy!

I threatened to move out the first night. I've since grown fond of the shitter. (I need to stop threatening to move out. He's going to take me seriously one of these days.)

Gosh, I love that man. He's my lobster. Totally.

I turned my cell phone off. I'm going to mess around and turn it right back on tomorrow. I am so fucking strange. Sorry if you called and I was unavailable. I'm prone to act too spontaneously at times.

I hope the keys are still around by the time you two are done with them. ;) I bet you guys are having way too much fun and I am totally jealous. Meh.

Did you do your taxes, kiddies?